Have you ever...?

Have you ever felt that you were going nowhere and that even your future plans doesn't seem like it will get you very far? Have you ever thought that your significant other was cheating? Have you ever thought what would be like if you never lived to see another day? Have you ever thought about what would it be like to be a parent or not be a parent if you currently are one? Have you ever just questioned why you are the way you are? Have you ever just question why are you here? Have you ever questioned why you are going through the pain of what is currently going on in your life? Have you ever just stand in the shower and cried your eyes out? Have you ever been embarrassed to talk about your problems because you're afraid you won't hear what you want to hear? Have you ever just looked at your peers and realize that you trust none of them?

I'm sitting here wondering why these things come to my mind, especially when I lay in the dark trying to sleep. I wonder why I go through the things I go through. I wonder why I trust no one, why I go through so much pain, why I am scared he's cheating, why, why why why why... I know I'm not the only one with these thoughts and feelings. Everything that has happened to me haunts me like a bad dream. Things that happened made me scared but I have to act like it doesn't effect me. I have to act strong when in reality I am weak. I do it so no one sees me as the person who gives up. I stay strong and go through what I go through because I was told it has to get worse before it gets better. But when things get better I get more scared because something always happens, it has to get worse again. I don't want to put on a mask anymore when it gets worse, but then again I can't show I'm weak. I remember when there was no drama for me then after a certain point its like everything became a test. A test I didn't study for the night before. I wing it all. All my issues I wing it, all my challenges I wing it. And in the end I'm doing it alone, I'm changing myself because no one will change for me. I can't change anyone else, they change themselves. I see why. I'm tired of being the doormat, I wanna be there equally with everyone else. I want him getting nervous and jealous instead of me being that way. I want people to look at me differently... Sorry if this is too personal. Idk where else I could vent right now.

RIP Brian Griffin

For those of you who missed the latest Family Guy episode, I am sad to inform you that Brian Griffin died. He was struck by a vehicle and did not survive. I honestly teared up when I watched the whole episode. I mainly cried because Stewie cried when Brian died. It is sad because not only was he Peter's best friend but he was also Stewie's. Although Brian did pass, the family decided it would be best to get a new dog. His name is Vinny, he's like a Soprano's character. He, hopefully, will be there for Stewie like how Brian was.

Many people were disappointed and mad that Seth MacFarlane and other producers decided to get rid of Brian Griffin.. But they are the experts and they do compete with shows like the Walking Dead for views every Sunday. So they needed something to get everyone's attention so they did so. Hopefully it won't be like another two and a half men. They got rid of Charlie, replaced him with Ashton Kutcher, and then the actor who plays Jake leaves also.So two and a half men basically became just two men... Please hope family guy won't be like this

Gravity

*SPOILER ALERT*

I just came back from watching Gravity. That was the most dizziest movie every. So much spinning it was making me sick, and lightheaded. As I am typing this, I feel like the room is spinning.

Even though I got crazily lightheaded I have to say I like the movie. Sorta. Sandra Bullock has the worst luck in the movie, it pissed me off how much bad luck she was having. The American satellite broke down, the Russian satellite broke down, the Chinese satellite pod almost drowned her. My gosh man, its like she's her own character on the George Lopez show again.

But really sitting here and thinking about the movie. There was part where she was in the Russian satellite and she took off the heavy suit and she lay floating in the pod area. She looked like a baby in the womb. And it got me thinking about how sensitive the human life is. How one thing can go wrong and cause chaos. And within the chaos you find out how determined you are to go through it until the end. In the movie she almost gave up, but she didn't and that showed how we can overcome the fear of dying or losing by trying. That and some vodka sounds lovely right now.

I do say though the spinning camera didn't sit well with me. On a scale of one to ten, I give it a 4. They need to make my head stop spinning.

Ariel Castro dead already?

For those of you who know about Ariel Castro should know that he has been pronounced dead last night. The rapist,kidnapper of 3 woman died from hanging himself in his jail cell. None of his previous captives will make a statement. He just started doing his time for his convictions, all in all he was suppose to be doing life in prison with an additional thousand years... I guess that means he did his time. Many people on the internet are calling him a coward and not facing up to the punishments of his crimes. I guess in the end there is a higher power out there judging him and will give him what he deserves in his afterlife.