Puerto Rico

I sincerely apologize for my leave of absence from this blog, The last five days I was in the beautiful island of Puerto Rico. Unfortunately this was not a vacation, I was morning the loss of one of my boyfriend's family members. But we also sought out the opportunity to go not only to celebrate her life but to see the sites where a part of my boyfriends family originated.

Puerto Rico, a Caribbean Latin American Island, not that far from Florida and a US commonwealth, felt like I stepped into another county. I have never been to Puerto Rico before, this was my first trip and I can say I loved it there. We arrived around 6 p.m. on a Saturday afternoon, our flight was a two hour trip and went through smoothly... Sorta. Let's just say I found out I do not like flying on a plane. I have nothing against the mode of transportation but its like a roller coaster simulator and I get highly irritated of that feeling. I almost broke my boyfriend's hand when we took off in Florida and landed in PR.

First thing I was told about Puerto Rico before going there wasn't that it was a beautiful country nor was I suggested places to visit. I got the negative first and was told of the high amount of Zika cases present in the country. Hell on the way to the airport, I saw a giant condom billboard ad promoting safe sex, because Zika is sexual transmitted as well. A friend of mine was like "Don't catch the Zika!" So my boyfriend and I packed travel size bottles of military grade bug spray in our carry on bags. I was also told before leaving how the country is practically going bankrupt and how their taxes is higher than those in Florida. Oh not the mention the driving! The driving was worse than a drag race through congestion of the I-95, for those who live in Florida, you know that is hell. My road rage couldn't handle getting behind the wheel.

But I will say I saw many beautiful scenes while I was in Puerto Rico, the mountains, beaches, and the unique community of people made my experience a good one. Not to mention the drinking age is 18 and up, so almost every night I had an alcoholic beverage in my hand. The food, although most of what I had was fried, made me gain a few pounds while I was there. The pork, although I do not eat pork often, was to die for. The crispy skin and the Hispanic seasoning we all know and love made the food there amazing. One of my favorite things to eat while I was in PR was Bacalaítos, fried cod fish in like a pancake batter. My goodness! God bless the Puerto Rican Momma who made this, I had it almost everyday I was there. Each day at Puerto Rico brought me to a new experience to another Hispanic culture besides my own. Learning of their legends, stories and Catholicism traditions in the island has brought me closer to my boyfriend and his family. Stay tuned for each day of my adventures in the beautiful island that is Puerto Rico.

This was taken from my hotel room.

Have you ever...?

Have you ever felt that you were going nowhere and that even your future plans doesn't seem like it will get you very far? Have you ever thought that your significant other was cheating? Have you ever thought what would be like if you never lived to see another day? Have you ever thought about what would it be like to be a parent or not be a parent if you currently are one? Have you ever just questioned why you are the way you are? Have you ever just question why are you here? Have you ever questioned why you are going through the pain of what is currently going on in your life? Have you ever just stand in the shower and cried your eyes out? Have you ever been embarrassed to talk about your problems because you're afraid you won't hear what you want to hear? Have you ever just looked at your peers and realize that you trust none of them?

I'm sitting here wondering why these things come to my mind, especially when I lay in the dark trying to sleep. I wonder why I go through the things I go through. I wonder why I trust no one, why I go through so much pain, why I am scared he's cheating, why, why why why why... I know I'm not the only one with these thoughts and feelings. Everything that has happened to me haunts me like a bad dream. Things that happened made me scared but I have to act like it doesn't effect me. I have to act strong when in reality I am weak. I do it so no one sees me as the person who gives up. I stay strong and go through what I go through because I was told it has to get worse before it gets better. But when things get better I get more scared because something always happens, it has to get worse again. I don't want to put on a mask anymore when it gets worse, but then again I can't show I'm weak. I remember when there was no drama for me then after a certain point its like everything became a test. A test I didn't study for the night before. I wing it all. All my issues I wing it, all my challenges I wing it. And in the end I'm doing it alone, I'm changing myself because no one will change for me. I can't change anyone else, they change themselves. I see why. I'm tired of being the doormat, I wanna be there equally with everyone else. I want him getting nervous and jealous instead of me being that way. I want people to look at me differently... Sorry if this is too personal. Idk where else I could vent right now.

RIP Tom Clancy

To all my book worms out there, I am sorry to inform you that Tom Clancy died today,age 66. So far I know no cause of death just yet. My condolences goes out to his loved ones and friends. I am also sorry to say I have never read one of this man's books. I am surprised to hear that this "Bestselling Author" died. I feel a little ashamed I never picked up any of his books. I did look up a list of books he has written and there are soooooo many books he wrote. Which shocks me even more that I never heard of him until his death. Someone smack the top of my hand. I will run to the nearest library and check out one of his books...as soon as I can find the time. I am a busy person. Idk how I have time to blog.